AAWT

On April 14 Kaitlin and I set out for a 660km walk through the Australian Alps. The few days leading up to this were so hectic (doing our food drops and making our way to the trail head) that we had not fully wrapped our heads around what we had taken on until we actually started the trek. Heaps of emotions ran through my head as we were walking our first few kilometres. Had we taken on to much? Will we get lost and not find our way out? Did we have enough skills to do a walk like this? These are all questions that were addressed throughout the next few days and led to a very simple, generalized answer. No. We had not taken on to much. We were two smart individuals with basic navigational skills, experience in the bush and and an urge to try something that would challenge us physically as well as mentally. Once the first couple of days were completed there came a new set of challenges that we would be faced with.

The weather turned and started to pour consistently from day 3 onwards. Physically our  bodies were already adapting and becoming stronger each day. Mentally, we were both struggling due to the weather and being overwhelmed by the many strenuous days ahead. I was slowly learning to keep a positive attitude and appreciate all the beauty presented in front of us.The mist covered surroundings with the dark grey clouds surrounded by the blue gum trees provided a very unique and amazing scenery. Kaitlin really started to struggle beginning on the fifth day and no matter what I said to boost her confidence there was no lifting her spirits. With that being said, despite her mood and tiredness, she pushed on each day and I have never seen such perseverance and determination before. She would actually be 50-100 metres in front of me pushing through whatever pain she had going on (a massive blister on her foot and a pulled back muscle). This started to provide inspiration for me to keep going as well. It was around the 8th day that the big decision had to be made, as Kaitlin brought up the idea of opting out. 

Once this conversation happened, many things started to go through my head. Do I continue alone? Am I a quitter and failed on this journey if I stop before the end? It was the toughest decision to make. I am usually quite adamant on finishing what I start without letting anything stop me along the way. Although, I haven't yet taken on anything this big. When Kaitlin decided she was opting out, I slept on it for a couple of nights. It was very emotional for me to finally come to the decision to opt out with her. Coming to Australia this time I found this walk and told myself I would do it before I left and now I will have only done 1/3 of it. I automatically started feeling demoralized - as if I failed. Through the couple of days toward the end of our shortened walk and a couple weeks following I had trouble wrapping my head around what had happened. But I came to terms with it and realized what a great experience it was and ended up learning a lot about myself and my amazing girlfriend. 

There are many factors involved in my decision to opt out. I didn't make the decision solely based on Kaitlin's choice. I slowly began to realize that without her I wouldn't have been able to begin the walk. The lengthy planning process of food drops, walking distances, water supplies along the track, etc. was a lot to handle and a bit stressful for me. Kaitlin always calmed me down and would take over the coordinating and explain to me how we would do the planning one step at a time and not get overwhelmed. The comfort and compassion we have shown to each other, whether it was on the trail while being lost in bush or sitting in our car planning  the walk has shown me the appreciation I have for Kaitlin's company and I am very grateful to have her by my side through all the good and bad times. I have also the learned the importance of patience and how there is no point in stressing over the parts of life that our out of our control. The parts that we can control, however, we should focus on and strive to do our best in, because when you look back, no matter how far you got, you will know you gave your best effort and should be happy with whatever the end result is. It's not always about getting to the end of the walk or reaching the summit - sometimes things happen and you may not get there. The most important part is putting yourself in the situation and attempting the endeavour. The walk wasn't completed this time around but there will definitely be a second attempt. Who knows what obstacles will come our way the next time around but we will be better equipped mentally and give it our all. The time and money we put into our planning was definitely worth it and I am very happy we took the initiative to go beyond our comfort zones and share such an amazing experience.